Thursday, April 21, 2016

Welcome to Short Stories Vol. 1

Bubba Joe and the Lawman orBiscuits are Important

This is part of a series of very short stories. Most of them will be inspired by real people. After the initial inspiration I deviate wildly from the truth. Basically interesting stuff happened, but it wasn't quite interesting enough as it really happened so I changed it a bit and wrote it down. 

Tractor Man knows everyone. Everywhere we go he has to "speak" with at least five people. I know "speak" is already a verb, but it means something a little different. It means the whole act of getting up and heading over to say things like, "How's your mamma?" or "Where is your brother, can't get his lazy bones out of bed yet?". It's super important. Fail to "speak" to someone and it will get around. "I saw Janice at the Piggly Wiggly and she didn't even bother to speak." Shocking. 

I'm getting off track. Tractor Man knows everyone. We are sitting at a local breakfast joint. Enjoying some biscuits and coffee. I am putting all sorts of stuff on mine, two kinds of jelly, butter and honey. Tractor Man puts his usual honey and butter and nothing else. There is also country ham. Country ham is as opposed to city ham. City ham is sweet. Country ham is my heart's true love. We are chatting when he see's a man he knows. He doesn't "speak" though, as they are not really friends. Just does the nod thing. He tells me, "That's Bubba Joe, he is very nice. Used to own a used car lot. I'm not sure what he's doing now." I nod sagely, as if I am going to remember this, only vaguely sure I know which one is Bubba Joe. I assume the big buy. You never meet skinny "Bubba's" ya know? I realize it is definitely Bubba Joe when I notice he has a "Bubba Joe's Used Cars... Trust Bubba" T-shirt on. I am very observant. 
Things get interesting when Billy Westmore comes in. I don't know him, of course, Tractor Man quietly points him out. He is dressed pretty nice. Slacks and a button up. Breakfast runs the gambit on dress. Tension rises slightly in the room. Even Tractor Man pauses for a split second while holding his coffee mug. Mr. Westmore nods to us and we nod back, murmuring our "good mornings". He also nods at Bubba Joe before sitting in the next room. 
Under his breath, Tractor Man tells me the story. Bubba Joe is a small time drug dealer. Now I know, this is the idyllic country, why are people doing drugs? I don't know, probably the same reason they do them in the rest of the world. He only deals with "small stuff", I assume that means pot, because the other main drug around here is meth and I've never heard that called "small". Bubba's side business is sort of a given. Everyone knows. But he's a super swell guy. Mr. Westmore is actually with the State Narcotics Agency. He is working on Billy's case. He has been for a while, trying to catch him in something shady. 
I asked if there was going to be a bust right here at breakfast? I noticed Mr. Westmore on his phone and speculate if he is calling the office to see if they have enough to make an arrest. Tractor man chuckles. "I'm sure not." 
Breakfast ends without incident. Bubba Joe left before us. Mr. Westmore didn't get up and follow him or anything interesting. Everyone just ate their biscuits. Because biscuits are important. And Southern civility halts hunts, temporarily, for biscuits and country ham. 

For more on how important biscuits are please read THIS post. 

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